“It was the end of the world as we knew it”
R.E.M.
When I think of Imvu, and all that it has become, it’s bittersweet. I joined the app at least 10 years ago. Time has flown by. I have wonderful memories of hanging out with best friends, joyful nights full of laughter. We’d all go to our friends room, chill, and have a wild time. We grew together. We thrived together. We got through the good and the bad times; together. We became a bonded community, and no matter what seems to happen, that bond has remained strong. It’s a kind of love, the kind that feeds the soul. Not romantic nor sexual, but a deep rooted friendship between us all.
My group of friends calls themselves a cult. We started this journey with our friend, I’ll call him Cookie, who ironically made a cult to upset the other families. Yes, back in the day, there were huge families that made IMVU their lives, complex and a lot of drama. The cult he made, mocked them all. We were wild children. We would have crazy parties and there were so many inside jokes, stripper poles, and joyful nights. We all agreed that real life came first, but that for us to come together, and simply enjoy a break from life’s woes.
I joined after Cookie begged me to. He was the real leader. He was my best friend IRL and IMVU. I hadn’t always gotten to see him, IRL, so the idea of us having our precious moments on IMVU made the world of difference for me. I was busy, but I did my best to make time for him. I really enjoyed the people and the memories. They will be with us all, forever.
Our cult had a massive loss… Cookie died after fighting his third round of cancer. It broke us. Shattered us. For those of us who’ve remained friends, we enjoy telling stories of him, and the impact he had on our lives. Those who are still around, are closer to me than words can even describe.
Our mutual friend and big brother to us both, (he will be called Carl) let the Imvu world know. What he had to go through was hell. He was ridiculed, mocked, demanded of things no one should be asked to do in a time of grief. He was called a liar, and a selfish prick. He was mocked and destroyed by many people he thought of as close friends. It was bullying on a whole other level. People told us they were owed to see Cookie IRL, which Cookie was very clear about never wanting most people online into that, and those he wanted, he gave it to them. Still, Carl and I became each other's strength in grief. We held a funeral and told stories about him. We did what he would’ve wanted to do, have a fat party, make as many jokes as possible, and be happy, just as he always was. We got to meet people who knew Cookie that we really didn’t know. It was healing. It was painful.
The entitlement of those who felt they were owed something was disgusting. The way they would rip and tear Carl apart was hard as a friend, but as a human being to watch. It was as if he was laying on the ground, already curled up and they were smiling as they all took turns kicking him, harder and harder but instead of legs, it was words. Instead of fists, it was insults, and vile accusations. He braved it all. He had to get messages from people telling him Cookie was fake, or that Cookie wouldn’t like how he was doing such and such. It was him, really, who took the brunt of it.
They tried to pry into Cookie’s life. Tried to find answers or something forgetting the very rules and boundaries he,. Himself had set; IMVU only.
It is a phrase that bothers many, but honestly, it’s needed.
I am glad none of the bullies know where I live, nor Carl. We need it to be separate. I could only imagine how much worse they all would be, if they did know. People forget that it’s healthy to have boundaries and though we were all going through grief together; people took their grief, anger, hatred and pain out on one man, Carl.
To the women who told multiple people that we were all the same person, because you couldn’t find anything about Cookie…. or the ones who called Carl names, mocked his grief, to those of you, who beat a man at the hardest point in his life…. The karma you put into the world is the energy you shall receive.
I am in awe of my big brother, and best friend, Carl. He has done what I could never do. He’s not let any of you bring him down. He stands tall and proud. He lives on, we all do, with Cookie in our thoughts and prayers, and though we were all grieving, what you did was wrong. Hurt people; hurt people.
To those of you, who feel that cyber bullying only has one face, one way, one name, you’re sadly mistaken. It takes on many forms, and it’s toxic. It can make people feel isolated, and can be abusive. Yes, it’s behind a keyboard, but it still stings. It still hurts.
Thus, my why. I don’t want people to have to struggle on their own.
My Why for MetaMuse
I want people to remember what IMVU is, and what it’s all about. It’s about the community, the tribes you make. It’s about laughing as you cry, and sometimes you just have to do it. Sometimes you have to hold boundaries, and keep a distance. IMVU brings a diverse group of people together that wouldn’t normally meet otherwise, and that’s the beauty of it.
Learn from those whose lives are vastly different from your own.
Open your eyes to new perspectives, views and ideals.
Own when you make a mistake and apologize, don’t dig your heels in….
Practice kindness, and remember, we are all on IMVU for our own reasons, and you’re not alone.
If you ever feel alone or unheard, reach out. You can contact me or one of the MetaMuse Vu Magazine creators directly. We’re here to listen, support, and amplify your truth.
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